you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
