you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
