Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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