Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
