Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
