i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
