I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
