we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
