We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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