did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
