he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
