didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize