i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
