It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
