according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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