we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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