Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
