I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize