My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
