I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Come on in and take your pants off
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