She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
