he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
