k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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