When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
