what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
