You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
