when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
