yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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