What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
