She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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