I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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