Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
