JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
