is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
