he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
