Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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