Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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