I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
