so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
