I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
