So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My vagina just clenched in fear
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
