I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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