theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
