Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
