There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
