We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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