the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
