Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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