they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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