he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You ruined the universe
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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