Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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