My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
