He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
