How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
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