grandma shit on top of the toilet
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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