so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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