Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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