no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
