You smell like a Billy Joel song
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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