Cold hands, warm shart.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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