Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
