I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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