NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Farmville is her only friend.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
